Today, my boy turns 7. There's something about watching my kids grow that blows my mind. They are constantly changing. One day you wake up, and the baby has been replaced with a toddler. Next, the toddler is gone and you have a little boy. Now, I have a kid. A seven year old kid. It's just insane. I miss the baby all the time, but I know one day I'm going to have a grown man for a son, and I will miss this kid. It's hard to soak them up because the time with them at any age is so fleeting.
I love watching him grow into an individual of his own, making his own friends, learning his own skills and taking his own responsibility. He's doing things now that the baby he used to be could never do and as a mom, I am so proud.
I just love this kid so much.
So, this is the birth story I wrote up seven years ago right after he was born. Believe it or not, I actually had a blog back then, but it was just a baby blog that only my family and friends could see. I like reading it because it actually shows how far even I have come since then. Jonathan made me a new person and we changed so much together.
Written October 2005
Wednesday morning at about 4:30am I woke up to some annoying back cramps that lasted for about 15 seconds and would show up every 5 or 6 minutes. After about 3 contractions, I realized that I could possibly be in labor. I waited until about 5:30 to alert Jeremy. I think he was in denial at first. I kept assuring him that even if it was labor, we probably wouldn't need to go to the hospital until that afternoon, so he decided to go to work for the morning, but he promised to rush home if I called him. After he left, I woke up my mom, who was visiting and very excited at this news. We sat around the house all day watching TV while my contractions came and went like clockwork. At this point, they weren't too painful so I was still in a pretty good mood. At about noon, the contractions were consistently 1 minute long and 3-4 minutes apart, so I called Jeremy and he came home.
Then, the contractions stopped.
They just stopped.
I was devastated.
I was already six days past my due date and too anxious to have the baby to let them just go away so I decided to do some power walking around my neighborhood to kick start them back up.
At 3:00pm, we headed to the hospital. The three of us were still in such good spirits, laughing and joking all the way to the hospital. The contractions were still bearable, but getting worse by the hour. The hospital fed me dinner (it was Germany) which was not easy to eat because at every contraction I had to hang my arms around Jeremy to ease the pain. I had to be confined to a bed for monitoring, which was unbearable. I was anxious to get into my delivery room where I would be able to get into the birthing tub and take a relaxing bath. Before we got into our room, the nurse gave me a very mild medication, which I never even felt. It was the only medicine I could get if I wanted to have a water birth.
At about 7:00pm, finally, I could get into the tub. It made me feel so much better, but I still had to grit my teeth through the contractions as they started to get pretty intense. After about 30 minutes in the tub, I had to go back to the bed for more damn monitoring, which I hated. This is the point when I almost caved. The nurse came in and asked me one last time if I wanted the next step of medication. It was a very hard decision to make, but I knew at that moment that if I did take the drugs, I would really regret not being able to do the water birth I really wanted. So, I bit the bullet and got back in the tub, with no drugs. I was terrified that I still had hours of pain left to bear, but when they checked me again, she gave me the best news I could have heard...I was dilated to 9.5 centimeters! I could start pushing soon! I think I started sobbing with happiness at that point. Jeremy and my mom were both at my sides, holding my hands and coaching me through the pain. At exactly 10:00pm, the doctor broke my water and I started pushing. Although the pushing was a lot of work, it distracted me from the pain of the contractions. Between each contraction, I rolled my head back and slept for about a minute at a time. I didn't even know that was possible.
After about an hour of pushing, at 11:05pm, Jonathan was born and floating in the water for a moment. I looked down and saw the most beautiful face looking back at me. The midwife said "pick him up" and I reached into the water and brought my son into the world. He sat so peacefully in my arms while we all cried with joy. The only one not crying was Jonathan. He coughed a few times and made sweet little noises, but only cried after they took him from my arms. They put him on the scale and measured him: 8lbs, 6oz, and 20in long!
The whole experience was so amazing and even though there were some very hard points, I think it all happened so perfectly, exactly the way it was meant to. If I could it all again, I wouldn't change a thing.
Happy Birthday my sweet boy! You are so much like me it's ridiculous, and the bond we share is the one thing in this world I treasure most. Dad and I are so proud of you and who you are becoming. You rock, buddy. Keep it up.
We love you!!